The Danger of Great Expectations

Starting Over Again

Balch_Summer MyllymakiBig relief: we just had our 1 year anniversary as owners of The Historic Balch Hotel. It’s a been a great year, busy and a true adventure, with loads of lessons learned. (Such as: don’t unpack a moving truck in flip flops!)

If you told me a year ago how long it would take to get settled into this new venture as hoteliers while I continue with my biz, I’d never have believed you. Call me massively optimistic (or deluded) but I thought it would take a few months at most to adapt to this new location in the Columbia River Gorge. Boy was I unrealistic!

It’s been a tough road at times—humbling to admit—but I’ve learned a few things that I want to share.

I’ve witnessed the high expectations of my inner over-achiever. (I’m not bragging, it’s not really even a good thing.) I’ve also encountered my critic/judges who compares against how others are doing. (A big task, since there are so many experts and successes waiving around.)

Maybe you do this too.

When expectations aren’t met, we have 2 choices: blame ourselves &/or others. Or see things in a new way, learning and growing from the feedback of experience.

So, instead of giving myself space and freedom to heal from a stressful, injurious move, and adjust to a totally new lifestyle (owning and living in a boutique historic hotel in rural Oregon), I had all kinds of preconceived notions of how it “should” go. And when it wasn’t working I tried harder or hid my frustration.

And as Mary Magdalene mentioned in The Magdalene Path, “Should is never a very empowered place to come from, because it is based in others’ expectations that we’ve adopted as our own.”  A grand set-up for disappointment and despair.

Living with unfulfilled expectations robs us of our own authentic, organic, intuitive experience. We each have our own destiny path to fulfill. For many women that’s a call to a living from Feminine Soul.

So while it’s great to visualize positive outcomes, we can block ourselves from the good that is actually trying to manifest. Being fixed in our expectations doesn’t leave room for what is really emerging right in front of us, (which may be different than our desire).

This is tricky business: to intend a certain visionary outcome and yet have space, freedom, and compassion to flow, adapt and allow the best form possible.

I wonder if this resonates with you: Ideas and visions you have that are not happening quite as you’d hoped and making yourself wrong for them. (Or the converse, abandoning them to “divine timing!”)

When I was finally able to take my blinders of expectation off, and allow myself to receive the blessings, it was amazing to see what’s happened this year.  Things are not as expected and yet very, very good.

I envisioned doing on-line programs with coaching clients from my third floor “writer’s garret” office, while my very capable hotelier husband ran the hotel. Yet we’re creating a place that guests rave about, while starting to turn a profit (yay!).

20160416_112549We filled a series of retreats and events that were successful by any benchmark. (check our 4 ½ star Trip Advisor rating here) We’ve built a new team who is aligned with and excited about our vision and values. I’m developing new friendships and professional relationships, weaving a new web of community.

Plus, I’ve run my first 3-day retreat and launched an on-line class (2 goals I’ve had for years!). I’ve started to create new sisterhood. I live in a gorgeous place. (The photo is the view of my morning perch). My marriage has deepened as we navigated this unexpectedly rocky reimagining of our work/life partnership.

When I release my expectation of what “should” be happening, I can see the bounty that already is!

Is there any place in your life that your expectations are getting in the way of seeing the blessings and bounty before you? (Look again)

I’ve also encountered old patterns that are apparently ready for recycling. To be honest, it’s difficult admitting the challenges.  It’s vulnerable to reveal, but necessary to keep it real.

I know that in this new and audacious environment—a historic, boutique hotel in the Columbia River Gorge—potentially revamps what I offer in a new way. I’m looking at the best expression of The Magdalene Path and the Power of Feminine Soul that wants to emerge here now.

I’m wondering what’s next to serve you best?

I know what I am really good at: Using creative arts to create clarity for women at midlife who feel lost & confused, who’ve been so busy doing for others they’ve forgotten their own dreams and purpose. Guiding you to connect with your feminine divine guidance for confidence about who you really are and the direction you’re headed next.

But I’m looking to update how to describe the work I do and the problem(s) I solve. I’m so close to it, I’m finding it challenging to describe it in a way that’s clear and efficient so others can quickly understand. Can you help me out?

If you were telling a friend about me/my work, how would you describe it?

Take a moment to reply with your first intuitive response. I’m developing a few ideas and want to be sure I’m meeting your needs.

Just share what comes to mind in the moment. (Don’t overthink it, like I have. lol)

This is so helpful. Thank you very much.

2016-06-22T00:15:35+00:00

About the Author:

Claire Sierra, MA, LFT, is the author of The Magdalene Path – Awaken the Power of Your Feminine Soul ©. An Arts Therapist and True Purpose™ Master Coach, Claire has guided thousands of women who feel lost & confused about their purpose, to use creative arts to connect to their divine guidance for clarity & confidence about their true path. She’s led creative soul-centered workshops, retreats and private sessions for over 2 decades. To support greater re-connection she and her husband recently became proprietors of the Balch Hotel, a boutique destination retreat in the Columbia River Gorge, in Oregon. (visit www.BalchHotel.com) For free resources on your path, go to: www.MagdalenePath.com for sample chapters, meditations, audio interviews and more.

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